Monday

…i’m on it

I am exploring the side-effects of complete control. My word is law. I can coordinate my children and organize them to do exactly what needs to be done.

Dear Diary, To me:
Oh yeah, I am totally in charge of the dietary intake of my three-year old. He will eat whatever I tell him to, whenever I tell him to. I have chosen yogurt and tortillas this year. What? T.


I have a friend that micromanages her children. She admits it. She directs her children, surreptitiously and so adroitly that even they are unaware of it.

She has perfected the parenting technique I call, Controlling your Children. She does it the good way, not the way that mothers of messed-up men are blamed, but the sly, careful, cautious, incendiary knowing of where they are and what they are doing at all times, because the Mom is involved and loving it.

Somehow, she arranges and manipulates so they think they want her there with them too—the kind of control that they allude to on television in the stay off drugs commercials.

She has perfected it and I’m so impressed. She has three children that have lived past teens, and two that have completed college and are successfully focused on providing her with the joys of grandchildren (and the revenge of I told you so’s). Success! That is a big deal! I’d like those ratios, 100%. That would make me happy.


To me,
I’m at the store searching for who is in charge. It must be someone more qualified than me. It’s a sudden realization that there is only one that fits this description--who can direct my life.
I think the husband thinks it’s he
[1] and that makes him happy.
And, once again, I’m off the hook. T.



The Savior's example reminds me that a good parent encourages a child to venture out from under our wings and fly in the face of trials to develop confidence and independence. This prepares us to let the little darlings leave the nest—even jostle them out ourselves.

Reality Bite: Grandchildren are a reward for not killing your teens.[2]


[1] The grammar cyber-net insists.
[2] 49,000 hits, but not one internote that will take credit. This is not mine, but bless the author as my children will live to be eternally grateful.

1 comment:

Sabeys said...

haaaa. i like it. laughed out loud several times...
-d